1. SHAME
I wonder if you can see
I wonder if you can tell
I wonder if you see through the mask I wear so well
Iīll never let you know whatīs going on inside me
My shame, locks me down
All the things I wanted to tell you
are all the things I never will
ever time you reached down to me
all I did was put you away
I canīt unchain the thing that screams inside me
I hate it, its what I am
It makes me sick a piece of me
Of what Iīve been and what Iīve seen
From top to bottom
I am obscene
you smile at me, I smile back
you ask me how I am
I tell you that I am fine
I donīt know why Iīm so torn up inside my mind, the darkness, it swallows
me hole
It makes me sick a piece of me
Of what Iīve been and what Iīve seen
From top to bottom
I am obscene
it stands in my place
it spits in my face
its shame shame
its shame
at least I donīt lie
at least I donīt lie
I look at myself and say "man you doing just fine, youīre doing great"
Iīm not livīin in a lie
not livīin in a lie
Or am I?
It makes me sick a piece of me
Of what Iīve been and what Iīve seen
From top to bottom
I am obscene
it stands in my place
it spits in my face
its shaaaaaaaaaaame
Donī go to deep
donīt ask me why
donīt try to know me
donīt make me lie
I wish I didnīt know the things I donīt know well
Iīm trying to change, but its what I am
It makes me sick a piece of me
Of what Iīve been and what Iīve seen
From top to bottom
I am obscene
it stands in my place
it spits in my face
its shame shame
its shame shame
Not liven in a lie
am I?
Iīm Not livīin in a lie
am I?
NO
2. STARVE
I stay out late
I go alone
I needed sleep
I go without
I go along
I go all night
I go all night
I make the colors go
I push my senses out
I push my senses out
I keep my existence lean
I starve starve
I make the colors go
I starve starve
I make the colors go
and hear I am keen eyed my mind is low to the ground
and in my mind real time is mine and I know what I know
I step up and get none
I step up and get none
I take less and less and less and less and less than none
I starve starve
I make the colors go
I starve starve
I make the colors go
at the back of mind I hear the engines whine
at the back of mind I hear the engines whine
go all night go all night
I make my blood scream
I kiss my fear on the mouth
I kiss my fear on the mouth
I make my blood burn
I starve starve
I make the colors go
I starve starve
I make the blood scream
I make the blood burn
and when I step up I get up all the way
and when I step up I get off all the way
when turn my back and walk away
I never come back
I go without I feel the cold but I never come back
I go loooooong
I am goooooone
I starve starve
I make the colors go
I starve starve
I make the blood scream I make the blood burn
3. ALL I WANT
when I close my eyes
all I see are visions of you
and when I open my eyes
your absence pulls me down
and I try to but I canīt shake myself loose
I canīt command my brain
all I do is shrink and think of one thing
I am sitting alone beside me
Iīm digging a hole inside myself
all I want is world I think I found
when I look in to your eyes
all I know is that I am tired of the world around me
please please please donīt ignore me
then it came
here I am
thinking of you is everything within me
and I know that you will never feel me
never see me
never know these thoughts of mine
but in my mind youīre always there
always smiling and always reaching out for me
the days go on with heart ache
the days go on with emptiness
all I want is to some how matter to you
even if all else rejection
all I know is that I am hammered
from the world around me
please please please donīt destroy me
donīt destroy me
donīt destroy me
donīt destroy me
all I want is world I think I found
when I look in to your eyes
all I know is that I am tired of the world around me
please please please donīt ignore me
and I burn down time
trying to find a way to get through to you
I know I am standing in line for a hand out
itīll never come
but still I donīt care
felling like
looking like
naked fear is everything
fear is everything I am
laid out
wide eyed
exposed
unable to forget you
all I want is to some how matter to you
even if all else rejection
all I know is that I am hammered
from the world around me
please please please donīt destroy me
4. THE END OF SOMETHING
I donīt step on roaches as they crawl across me floor
And If I saw your body burning in the street,
Iīd put you out with gasoline
And when the garbage pile up past my knees, and the rats running free
Iīll say weīre even
and youīll know its the end of something
touch your fear, donīt be afraid
touch your fear, donīt be afraid
donīt be afraid, donīt be afraid, donīt be afraid, donīt be afraid
it the end of something
And the tears from you eyes that youīve cried have dried and thereīs nothing left to say
and when youīve seen that time we spent together meant nothing and you couldnīt make me stay
remember me and my eyes and how they saw you
remember me and my voice and what I said
its over
and know thereīs nothing
oh its the end
the end of something
touch your fear, donīt be afraid
touch your fear, donīt be afraid
donīt be afraid, donīt be afraid, donīt be afraid, donīt be afraid
it the end of something
its so cold
its the end its the end
its so cold
the laughterīs died away, and now I see the joke was on me
the cold winds blowing through my cloths and Iīve got no one, nothing, no where to go
my flesh is pulling tight across my bones
and Iīm thinking, man youīd be better off stoned
but I know, yes I know, oh I know
this is the end of something
touch your fear, donīt be afraid
touch your fear, donīt be afraid
touch your fear, touch your fear, touch your fear, touch your fear,
itīs just the end
of something
its so cold
its the end something
donīt be afraid, donīt be afraid, donīt be afraid, donīt be afraid
to touch your fea
5. ON MY WAY TO THE CAGE
on my way to the cage
I am getting taught a lesson
on my way to the cage
I am choking on the medicine
on my way to the cage
I am stepping hard on four leaf clovers
on my way to the cage
Iīm learning the same thing over and over
on my way to the cage
the taste of blood is in my mouth
on my way to the cage
the fear is in their eyes
on my way to the cage
my animal blood is pure
on my way to the cage
no regrets and no last words
on my way to the cage
I heard the crowd roar
those of you alone behind me
I couldnīt ask for more
the lights are almost blinding
come closer
tears open my eyes
and fear me and fear me
your soul is on a leash
your mind is on a string
your worldīs inside my fist
you put yourself above me
but thereīs something that you missed
youīll always say youīll hate me
but youīll watch me anyway
its a pain
you canīt resist
on my way to the cage
Iīm looking at life
and laughing at death
on my way to the cage
Iīm tripping on pain and feeling fine
on my way to the cage
youīre paying your price and Iīm paying mine
on my way to the cage
Iīm watching you cry and wave good-bye
on my way to the cage
I heard the crowd roar
those of you alone behind me
I couldnīt ask for more
the lights are almost blinding
come closer
tears open my eyes
and fear me and fear me
your soul is on a leash
your mind is on a string
your worldīs inside my fist
you put yourself above me
but thereīs something that you missed
youīll always say youīll hate me
but youīll watch me anyway
its a pain
you canīt resist
6. THURSDAY AFTERNOON
please let me see the faults that my ego denies me
please donīt let me grow so tall that I forget the ground beneath me
donīt let me forget that satisfaction has no friends
that glory always fleeting, already gone
Iīve wasted so much time
Iīve wasted so much time
Iīm trying to get it straight
Iīm trying to get it straight
Iīm trying to keep it straight in my mind
donīt let me think its love when its only just obsession
I spent so many nights punching that wall
so me the difference between decision and denial
I want to know why I ask why
Iīm trying to get it straight
Iīm trying to get it straight
Iīm trying to keep it straight in my mind
Iīm trying to keep myself in check
Iīm trying to keep myself in check
so tired of regret
let me see confusion for exactly what it is
donīt let me make my rage a total regret
allow me to side step my frustration and hostility
and the violence that comes to me so easily to easily
Iīve wasted so much time
Iīve wasted so much time
Iīm trying to get it straight
Iīm trying to get it straight
Iīm trying to get it straight in my mind
Iīm trying to keep myself together
struggling struggling struggling when did they lose it
7. DURING A CITY
I try
not to let it get above me
donīt make me, donīt hurt me, donīt push me, donīt confront me
I try to separate real from unreal
donīt make me have to open my eyes
donīt make me have to feel
crime likes burning like a heylow
sidewalk under me feet
passing trees below
I keep walking, with nothing in my head
where am I going?, where am I going?, where am I going?, where am I going?
some nights I walk mile after mile, after mile
I need you, I need you, I want to smile, at your smile
are you out there somewhere? waiting? looking for me?
I am falling fast, falling, falling broken
reach out and catch me
and the city is in my blood like a curse
and the people and the noise, only make it worse
and I canīt tell you why thereīs no place Iīd rather be
where am I going?, where am I going?, where am I going?, where am I going?
and the city drops on my head
when the city drops on my head
when the city drops on my head
dirty gray dropping rain down in my dreams
no one knows me, no one knows me, no one knows me, no one knows me
so when you see me, just walk on by
Iīm caving in and I donīt know why
thereīs got to be more than this
but I just canīt find it
Iīm wondering in a city, unknown to myself
a stranger to everyone I meet
Iīm wasted on insomnia, paranoid to the hilt
where am I going?, where am I going?, where am I going?, where am I going?,
when the city drops on my head
and the city drops on my head
and the city drops on my head
where am I going?
8. NEON
I want to touch your neon chemical
I want to make you need like an animal
the way you rip my head off your my main incinerator
kick the door down when you come
tear the roof of when you leave, yea
The scene
should be flashing as you reapper
slip into something dangerous
as something I can fear
lie and say you want then, lie and say you will
tell me all the stories how you love and how you kill, yea
Love me as you kill me
I want feel the torture
I want to see extinction
Will you smile when the shades get soaked
in blood when the saints come crashing in
could you do some damage to the shape Iīm in
ruin this ruin and go to the end, yea
Love me as you kill me
I want to see destruction
I want to feel extinction
Without you life is nothing
Without you life is mortal time
Without you Iīm just standing here
Without you waiting to be alive
Please,
Leave your mark on me, make an impression
Donīt warn me, before you cut
The moon reflects off your tools love me long
donīt slay me, donīt spit on my blood after Iīm gone
I want to see destruction
I want to feel extinction
9. SPILLING OVER THE SIDE
OH man
I canīt believe the things I said to you
hey, I must have been out of my mine
Desperation crept in from all the things I kept in
I am sorry I just couldnīt help my self
I could tell by the look in your eyes
that you think Iīm a fool, its allright
to late to turn back now
I pull theses lines out
Iīm throwing my line out
hoping youīll bite and drag me in with you
I go so low and then I see
its when I hit the bottom
I know for sure
it gets pathetic
when youīre lonely
you will do anything
I canīt believe what Iīve become
the things I say and do
loneliness will make you throw you sense away
here I am trying to get through
here I am feeling so small
Iīm running my mouth at you
Iīm feeling strang like a stranger
Iīm hear but I know I am out of there
as close as I get is so far away
am I coming off like I am crazy
my lack of breath is to intense
am I telling you more that you want to know
I go so low and then I see
its when I hit the bottom
I know for sure
it gets pathetic
when youīre lonely
you will do anything
I mean anything
I go so low and then I see
its when I hit the bottom
I know for sure
it gets pathetic
when youīre lonely
you will do anything
OH man
I canīt believe the things I said to you
hey, I must have been out of my mind
playing it hard on a Saturday night
I am walking down both those streets
I am looking in through the windows at goodtime shows
my loneliness how it huts and how it shows how it shows
10. INHALE EXHALE
Inhale resolve
Exhale ambition
Inhale all need
Exhale all I want
Inhale love of life
Exhale fear of death
Inhale power
Exhale force
I have all I need
I canīt live without
I have all I need
I canīt live without
Inhale tolerance
Exhale judgment
Inhale what I am
Exhale what I think I am
I have all I need
I canīt live without
I have all I need
I canīt live without
Donīt hold me down
Donīt hold me down
Donīt hold me down
Inhale fact
Exhale assumption
Inhale what I want to be
Exhale how I want to be seen
Donīt hold me down
Donīt hold me down
Donīt hold me down
I have all I need
I canīt live without
I have all I need
I canīt live without
I have all I need
I canīt live without
I have all I need
I canīt live without
Canīt live without
I canīt live without
I canīt live without
I canīt live without
11. SAYING GOOD-BYE AGAIN
Here it is on the news
someone I know is now someone I knew
I canīt believe it happened again
Another mound
Another one down
Pounded by a lion into the ground
My disgust has got no place to go
So sick of saying good-bye again
So sick of saying good-bye again
So sick of saying good-bye again
Rebel in the dirt
what was it worth
I left his grief and so much hurt
so much loss
so much pain
so much sorrow
and so much strain
so much anger
so much rage
no the sadness never fades
youīre gone
Iīm left to move on
seems like I am saying good-bye again
seems like I am saying good-bye again
seems like I am saying good-bye again
seems like I am saying good-bye
so young
too late
so sad
good-bye
so young
too late
so sad
good-bye
so young
too late
so sad
good-bye
Just last week I saw you hanging out
who would have know you had two days to live
I left town and heard that you did to
the difference is I can come back I can come back
So sick of saying good-bye again
So sick of saying good-bye again
So sick of saying good-bye again
So sick of saying good-bye
so young
too late
so sad
good-bye
so young
too late
so sad
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
12. REJECTION
I had it wrong for so long in my head
I was walking around like I was dead
and all the time my mind was stuck on you
and called while you stalled
I was a fool to think we were involved
I guess I needed to believe it, so bad
rejection never felt this good
everything unclear, not so well understood
at first I didnīt see it as kind
but you did me a favor as you left me behind
you might not believe it but it is true
its all those things you never said that told me all about you
its the things you tried to conceal
that get revealed
I had to get it wrong before I got it right
Iīm not the kind to argue,
Iīm not the kind to find
by the time I reached the truth
I had reached the end
rejection never felt this good
everything unclear, not so well understood
at first I didnīt see it as kind
but you did me a favor as you left me behind
now Iīm alone
and Iīm burning
and I am hurting like hell but I am learning
the scares will take me far I canīt always do
and I believe Iīm allergist
I do believe Iīm allergist
rejection never felt this good
everything unclear, not so well understood
at first I didnīt see it as kind
but you did me a favor as you when you left me behind
but now I see how you are
now I see how you are
now I see how it is
and now I see what you do
and now I watch them line up
I watch them fall down
one after one
after one
I watch you smile
growing grown
I think to myself
it couldīve been me
no way
|