1. Monolith
-instrumental-
2. Dig
I would love to beat the face,
Of any mother fucker thatīs thinkinī they can change me,
White knuckles grip pushing through for the gold,
If youīre wantinī a piece of me I broke the mother fuckinī mold,
Iīm drowning in your wake
Shit rubbed in my face
Teething on concrete
Gums bleeding
Dig bury me underneath
Everything that I am rearranging
Dig bury me underneath
Everything that I was slowly changing
I struggle in violated space,
Sell out motherfuckers in the biz that try to fuck me,
Hang from their Tīs rated P.G. insight,
I ainīt sellinī my soul when thereīs nothing to buy
Iīm livid in my space
Pissing in my face
Fuck you while you try
To fuck me
Dig bury me underneath
Everything that I am rearranging
Dig bury me underneath
Everything that I was you ainīt fuckinī changing me
Let me help you tie the rope around your neck,
Let me help to talk you the wrong way off the ledge,
Let me help you hold the glock against your head
Let me help you tie the rope around your neck,
Let me help to talk you the wrong way off the ledge,
Let me help you hold the glock up to your head,
Let me help to chain the weights onto your legs
Get on the plank fuck
Dig bury me underneath
Everything that I am rearranging
Dig bury me underneath
Everything that I was slowly changing
Wish you were committing
Suicide suckinī on a mother fuckinī tailpipe
Dead man dangling from a tight rope
Limbless in the middle of a channel bob away
3. Internal Primates Forever
Cop provisions feed my addictions mistakes I made then
I opened up the holes and they crawled in,
Now when itīs time for the feed they wonīt let me forget,
They ride upon my back and theyīll fuck me with their need,
My invisible enemies all my monkeys
Their coming theyīre coming their coming theyīre coming to take me away.
Disgusted with my position so submissive I am the only way we get away is give in sharpen up the razors stab the needles into pipes to kill cravings so sick of this in me
canīt stand the want to need canīt get free always got a grip on me
Thereīs no use to fight this wrenching tourniquet of deprivation obedience subservience leads to substance
Do you want more give it to me
Leave my motivation to chemical dependency no room for patience
Donīt want it need it come on right now
( voice 2)
Everything Iīve become now is everything I didnīt want to be
Every time I try to run away I fall on my face they drag me back
Every time I try to run away I fall on my face
Help! They wonīt leave me alone
If I would have known back then what I know now I īd take it back
If I would have known back then what I know now I īd take it back,
Iīd take it back Iīd take it all fuckinī back
Stay away stay away
Hold me Iīm shaking violently
Pull me out of my covering
Mold me into a new man
Lull me into a deep sleep
Thereīs no use to fight this wrenching tourniquet of deprivation obedience subservience leads to substance
Even if you want you canīt stop
Internal primates foreve
4. -1
Losses, losers and more, gain of lifeīs pleasures cohorts listen behind the doors to a life meaningless less than 0 in me all my walls falling down pains aloft misery
Iīm sure that the lessons were learned Iīm sure that the punishments went well deserved by the pawn in the plan taste of shit bitterness walk from me everything
systematically
Come on youweretheone youweretheone,
To dredge up shit inside of me in my pointless life of nothing
Tell me what Iīm supposed to be
Tell me who Iīm supposed to be
Tell me what it takes to ascend
Tell me what it takes to live
Patience, pleasures and rewards, come in due time stare at the sun Iīm bored in a life meaningless soaking up all of me like the cross you worship life is loss look at me
Iīm sure that some day weīll wake up Iīm sure that some day weīll wake from the dream
Of success and focus...tunneling to the light glowing deep inside of me your taunting I wake up
Come on youweretheone youweretheone,
To dredge up shit inside of me in my pointless life of nothing
Tell me what Iīm supposed to be
Tell me who Iīm supposed to be
Tell me what it takes to ascend
Tell me what it takes to live
Tell me nOW!
Tell me nOW!
Pain misery distress dismal know where depressed idiot failure
In me......calling......loser......man Iīm the
Loser......loser.....loser......in me......who I am....in me....
Donīt feel sorry donīt feel sorry for me
Donīt need your sympathy or empathy, donīt need your sympathy inside of me,
Donīt need your sympathy or empathy, donīt need your sympathy inside of me,
Donīt feel sorry donīt feel sorry for me
Come on
I know youweretheone youweretheone
Numb to feelings inside of me why Iīve seized my vision
Donīt need you to tell me who to be
Donīt need you to tell me what to be
Donīt need you to tell me how to ascend
Donīt need you to tell me how to live
5. Death Blooms
Cold seems crippling lame
meander through corridors
aromaīs thick with age
mark off the day
reflections of my life are fading
pull me out of body, donīt want it
donīt want in, feeble frail and rotting, descending
Iīm lost in a structure thatīs collapsing, donīt want it
cast into maker, take the body
donīt want it - it wants me...
Past has found its place
salvation is no more
will god accept my peace
bleached will pardon me
reflections of my life are fading
pull me out of body, donīt want it
donīt want in, feeble frail and rotting, descending
Iīm lost in a structure thatīs collapsing, donīt want it
cast into maker, take the body
donīt want it - it wants me...
I just want to run
fly kites wrestle jump and play
Swim through waves that crash to shore
memories in me, cocooned in misery
Iīm sick and tired of embracing reflections of past time
receive me or cast me away
...god please take me away
resistance, futile, suicidal ideas, I will crucify my own being, satisfy selfish needs fuck the deities,
justify my own right to whatīs waiting for me
On the other side, the time has come, lock and load,
Iīm coming, Iīm coming, Iīm coming,
Iīm coming home...
Pull me out of body, donīt want it
donīt want in, pull me out of body, donīt want it
donīt want in, pull me out of body, donīt want it
donīt want in, feeble frail and rotting, descending
Iīm lost in a structure thatīs collapsing, descending
donīt want it, maker take the body, donīt want it
donīt want in, pull me out of body, donīt want it
donīt want in, feeble frail and rotting, descending
Iīm lost in a structure thatīs collapsing, descending
donīt want it, maker take the body, donīt want it - it wants me...
I just want to run
fly kites wrestle jump and play
Swim through waves that crash to shore
memories in me, cocooned in misery
The darkness overcomes
soul soars to the other plain
Existence past the door I sail
through purgatoryīs bay
I asked a god for poison cradle me
sown to my dreams souls searching
death blossoms where clouds lie over me
held in godīs hands death blooming
Dark for fear of failure
an inner gloom as wide as an eye and fermenting
roiling hate, death grip in my veins
unveiling rancid petals
flowering forth foul nectar
the space between a blink and a tear
...death blooms.
6. Golden Ratio
-instrumental
7. Cradle
eathe...
Push...
...I lost you, you were my god thought what do I do now
you were never there for me never there to carry me,
26 years looking back that time is gone it was you I believed in look what youīve done to me realize what youīve done to
Me
I canīt see going on in this darkness Iīm blind beneath my cradle the bough has broke, I exorcise my loss your lie the punishment
It takes time to try to mend the wounds of all the suffering,
What do I do now all Iīm asking from you please send me a sign to guide me through the times that lie in front of me Iīll get by myself
Look at me now, a piece of shit like you.
Look at me now, you left me so fuck you.
Everybody leaves me, everybodyīs gone.
Watch my father leave me, thereīs nobody left.
Feels like Iīve never been loved.
Everybody leaves me, never gave a shit about me.
Everybodyīs gone, Iīll rot in my head alone.
I donīt give a fuck about you, go the fuck away .
Fake being, inside of my heart you are the liar.
Innocence displaced.
Been left.
Here I stand now and Iīm alone,
With no one to comfort me.
One set of footprints in the sand.
No one to take my hand, Iīll .
Iīll walk through as long as I need.
Iīll drift through my life though Iīm alone.
Outgrown the cradle that once housed me
And Iīve found that all I need is
Me.
Found Iīve never needed you to push through
All the shit that stacks up inside of my life.
Endless plight that circulates through my body.
Iīll keep stumbling, beating, pummeling
Teething on the rind and renounce my being.
I canīt see going on.
I canīt see
Iīm so tired, of trying to mend the wounds of all my suffering.
What do I do now?
All Iīm asking from you please,
Send me a sign
To guide me through the times that lie in front of me.
Iīll get by myself
I canīt see going on fuck it.
8. Nothing To Gein
Cold and silent, soiled face I will wash it all away,
With my love,
Thatīs all sheīs ever needed, from me
Itīs my time, to mother,
One of my own in my life,
I am so alone, left with no one
In my life, Iīm so alone
Life submissiveness,
Hypnotizing the ignorant a little boyīs best friendīs always his mother,
At least thatīs what she said,
Life of a simple man,
Taught that everyone else is dirty,
And their love is meaningless,
Iīm just a soiled dirty boy,
Iīm just a soiled dirty boy,
Sheltered life innocence,
Insulated memories, spark reflections of my head,
Duality in my consciousness,
Caught in the war of hemispheres,
Between the love lost in my head,
Mommy do you still live inside of me,
Iīm so lost in my life without any guiding,
Protected me my whole life from everything,
Nailed shut the doors to the shrine,
To screen your dead eyes from me and my sickness,
Mutilate and sew my new clothes for masquerading,
Aprons of flesh corpse scalped hair with skin upon my face,
Deliver the remains from her womb of earth,
Prep the rack and tie up for new loveīs rebirth,
Covert understanding of novice surgery,
Iīll focus concentration and only take just what I need
For sickness Iīm masticating,
Dancing and masturbating,
Celebrate in fields of night with skin upon my face
If I soak my hands in others blood am I sick,
If I wash my hands in others blood am I sick,
If I drench myself in others blood am I sick,
If I bathe myself in others blood
Blame mother for the sickness,
Mutilate and sew my new clothes for masquerading,
Aprons of flesh corpse scalped hair with skin upon my face,
Dance and masturbate in night light by myself..
Nothing is left for me to gain theyīre coming to take me far away,
Life of a simple man taught that everyone else is dirty and love is meaningless
Iīm so soiled
Soiled
9. Mutatis Mutandis
-instrumental
10. Everything And Nothing
We swallow the spit,
Steal acceptance lend denial,
Telling me that my life is free and boundless,
Then Iīm forced to stay between the lines,
They construct death to demolish life,
Plant the seeds to harvest loss,
Found empty truth is full of lies,
Weīre hoping for despair,
Starvationīs gluttony,
Subtle chaotic peace,
War divided unity,
Pro life, pro choice,
Blinded insight,
Left wing, right wing,
Black, white,
Leaders following,
I am everything I am nothing,
Stop fuckinī with me, Iīm the accused Iīm not the enemy
Youīre so confused no way you could enlighten me,
No freedom trapped in slavery, deceitful honesty mother fuckinī human not a machine
Lay your hands upon me,
In search for answers inviting,
Constant struggle inside me,
Guide me through this nothing thatīs everything
I am everything I am nothing
11. Severed
And we hide behind,
Lies, anger, Hate they shoo love away,
Build shells of ourselves outside,
It shelters body from cold reigns of reality,
Come on, Step out, of your rind, assemble strength, focus,
Release and run to me you can never look back to the visions from the past they fade and wilt in time,
Youīve got to just trust me to hold your hand through,
Then I turn and walk away,
Eclipse you,
And bleed you strip you of your states of ain soph aur,
Eclipse you,
I spit up on my plate and I push everything away,
I need,
And we sever all ties,
It creates disruption midst circle of friends,
I become the sacrifice,
Spare your life and leave me to my misery,
Get off the cross, and save yourself, run away
Run now get away from me if I can get my grip Iīll pull you down into the hell I call my head youīll never get away
I sit down in my ugly place and build walls out of fragments from my past of all the people that I needed and loved that walked away,
Youīve got to just trust me to hold your hand through then Iīll turn and walk away
I walk under the clouds of gray,
Sphere of storms in my head,
Iīm trapped again in endless rain
I divorce the thoughts of you I love with me,
I divorce your innocence and my guilt,
I divorce the lying sellout confidence,
Iīm divorcing every mother fuckinī thing
I divorce the love bled meaningless,
I divorce the makeshift harmony,
I divorce the taunting acts of violence,
I divorce the pastime of jealousy,
I divorce control,
I divorce the faith,
I divorce the virtue,
I divorce the rain,
I divorce the excuse,
I divorce the greed,
I divorce the need,
I divorce iniquity in this mother fuckinī bullshit life,
Just want it all to go away,
Just want to run away to die, take it, myself, my life
Text book fucking mental, off me and pitch me in a hole
Iīll always be your shadow,
And veil your eyes from states of ain soph aur,
I canīt be the hero,
Anymore I spit up on my plate and then I turn and walk away,
I spit up on my plate and I disrupt the family,
I spit up on my plate and I sever the entity,
And I feel your warm sun on my face
Separate, separate, separate, separate...
Eclipse you - and bleed you strip you - of your states of ain soph aur,
I need you,
Itīs always been this way, I push it all away,
From me...
Eclipse you - and bleed you strip you - of your states of ain soph aur,
Eclipse you,
I spit up on my plate, and I push everything away,
I need...
12. Recombinant Resurgence
-instrumental
13. Prod
Emotions inside us troubling,
The hatred inside us escalating,
The sickness inside us keeps us weak,
The masses inside of us suffering they are bleeding,
The calling inside us sick with greed,
The voices calling to us deafening weīre not listening
Cannot receive the obvious
Line up cattle and cut the necks
Swat at the flies omit disgust
The leaders inside us posturing,
The pollution inside of us suffocating me,
The science inside us menacing
The will thatīs inside of us its dying end is coming
Cannot receive the obvious
Line up cattle and cut the necks
Drain us of life and cleanse the mess
Wash me off inside, wash me off inside
Weīre killing ourselves killers
Goddamn we fucked up the circumstance,
Too late to save us from ourselves,
Callous minds against trust and confidence,
Too late to give a damn now
Too late to save us from ourselves, too late to make it all go away,
Too late to beg pardons from the mother, too late to give a damn
Now weīll sit and wait
Wait wait for the coming. of the end
Wait for the coming the killing the ending the plight of man
Deserving no mercy expelling by godīs hand,
Itīs okay the ending itīs over no more pain .
Emotion the hatred the sickness the calling
14. Pharmaecopia
Does your god come in a capsule,
To sedate you tear the walls down,
Headless prison cannibals chew,
to consume you bring the alien,
Halcium and morphine,
5-methoxy-n, n-dimethyltryptamine,
Psilocybin, mescaline, aspirin, histomine,
Brushite, darvaset, valium, caffeine, cannabis, and LSD,
Ayahuasca, harmine give it all to me I want it
These are just a few of my favorite things
Trisolam and zanex, serotonin, mdma, ibogaine, dopeamine,
Tetra-hydro-chloride, atenolol,
Amanita muscaria,
Boric oxide, arrabinitol, psilocin, and flamizine,
Cylotec and harmaline
Give it all to me I want it
Does your god come in a capsule to sedate you,
Tear the walls down, headless prison,
Cannibals chew to consume you,
Bring the alien
You canīt kill me,
Iīm already dead
Inside my hole,
Inside my head,
We just beg for any way to be sedated,
Itīs all about escaping,
Numb to me,
Numb body from this hell,
I can feel them pushing, I can feel them pulling
I can feel them holding, I can feel them moving,
I can feel them prying, I can feel them prodding,
I can feel them breathing, I can feel them digging
I can feel them stabbing, I can feel them scoping,
I can feel them living, I can feel it,
Consume, take in, plunging, plumbing,
Instruments prying, aliens inside me,
Tooling the machine,
Intoxicating,
Feel it unfolding, riddles in me
Itīs all about escaping, we just beg for any way to get away
Who do you bow down to, does your god come in a capsule or on a plate
Theyīre trying to sedate you, swallow self and bring on the alien
You tried to kill me, Iīm already dead to this world
Iīm already dead to this world
15. Under My Skin
Nailed inside my head,
Fuck this I donīt need your shit,
All the lies deceit and arrogance,
Talk your shit like my life is some kinda game,
Like you fuckinī know me,
Just go far away and be small,
Run far away and be small,
Go lie in a hole and be small,
Thorns, splinters, pushing,
Under my skin,
They want in,
Sharpened tongue to penetrate me,
If you really think you got what it takes to be me,
Then walk a mile in the skin of my head case mental being,
So you want a piece of this life that belongs to me,
Well make a cut on the line and take a deeper look inside of the freak,
That is me, fucker, come on,
Disturb, search me, prying up all my scales
To get in lance the core to penetrate me,
So you want inside of me,
So you want a piece of this,
So you want to tear me down, for your own selfish wants and needs
Disturb, search me, prying, up all my scales,
To get in, lance the core to penetrate me,
So you want inside of me
So you want a piece of me,
So you want to drag me down,
For your own selfish wants and needs
You were there like a punk,
Just to get in my face,
Wanted in me wanted to be
Till I gave you a taste
Donīt need your goddamn pressure
Frontinī stress Iīm superman motherfucker
Without the "s" on my chest
Trying to step in my circle Iīm leaving you purple and black
On your back drop your ass like a heart attack
Rippinī through your life like a motherfuckinī
Hurricane fist full of Novocain for the pain
Youīre nothing in my life in my head
Youīre nothing in my life in my land
Nailed inside my head
Youīre under my fuckinī skin!
I have cleansed my life now of the people who pry
And threaten place always in my face I think itīs time for them to
Go away always in my fuckinī space,
Always in my scene always in my sight,
Always in my way
Youīre dead to me punk ass fuck .
Thereīs nothing left
16. (k)Now F(orever)
Frozen moments in time,
Stopped hourglass,
They predicate, what you will know,
Dispositions lie within,
And so do we,
Donīt want to run.
Donīt want to hide,
Renounce the prayers for inspiration,
If you dictate what I will be
Then smash my face upon the concrete Iīm weary,
I feel the stares piercing,
So sorry to soil your precious eyes,
Reflections spoon-feed you,
The bitterness and disgust that is me,
If you choose to reach out to lend to me,
Iīll chew off your hand
Iīm not begginī for your fuckinī change
Iīm not begginī for your fuckinī change
Iīm in touch with myself,
All alone within myself,
All one. Alone
Do what you will make it the whole of your law,
Burn down the faith that shadows life
And take a deeper look inside of what makes you
Pull down the shades internal light can be blinding
Brilliance
Iīm not begging for your fuckinī change,
Iīm just begging for a fuckinī change,
Complacence quenched of me
Lineage is ending
I am that, once was me, rising upward, guts wrenching
Sculpted cold, blistering, break the mold, sever me
Cut your throat, be the martyr, bitter pills, that we swallow,
Take me, chase me, swallow with me
Know, now, know, now
Inside of truth, coming to, close to me, ground consumes and embraces me
Now forever
Born again,
Iīm repositioning,
Self inside to self non-dimensional,
Lost to being,
Iīve recognized the cause,
Existence to come, alive now forever
I am once was
...that is me
I am once was,
That is me
Iīm broken altered vacillating force,
Round square corners circles dance around wet figures,
Prisoner of time Iīm no more,
Insight will guide us through the majesty of nothing,
Itīs like Iīm touched with love by angel girl,
Let bastards rot in time for all their evil,
Let bastards rot in time for all their evil,
Let bastards rot in time
17. Lethal Dosage
-instrumental-
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