1. Open Your Eyes
As I walk along these streets
I see a man that walks alone
Distant echo of peoples feet
He has no place to call his own
A shot rings out from a roof over head
A crackhead asks for change nearby
An old man lies in an alleyway dead
A little girl lost just stands there and cries
What would you do, if it was you?
Would you take everything for granted like you do?
A boy just 13 on the corner for sale
Swallows his pride for another hit
Overpopulation thereīs no room in jail
And most of you donīt give a shit
That your daughters are porno stars and
Your sons sell death to kids
Youīre so lost in your little worlds
Your little worlds youīll never fix
You turn away
As I walk along these streets
Soaking up the acid rain
Underneath the taxi cabs
I hear the streets cry out in vain
2. Pressure
I just need this to be alright
I canīt feel this another night
I canīt take this I come unglued
I might breakdown in front of you
Necessary to medicate
Iīm not sleeping, canīt stay awake
Canīt see through this
Too much pressure
Drowning in this
Too much pressure
If you need me Iīll be here
Half unconscious to escape my fear
I canīt take this I come unglued
I might breakdown in front of you
Necessary to medicate
Iīm not sleeping, canīt stay awake
My head hurts this shit isnīt getting me high
My chest is so tight, am I going to die
My stomachīs in knots and the room starts to spin
As I wait for this valium to slowly kick in
3. Fade
I try to breathe
Memories overtaking me
I try to face them but
The thought is too much to conceive
I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness that my life became cause
I just needed someone to talk to
You were just to busy with yourself
You were never there for me
To express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now Iīm older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching
Is the bed that I have made
So where were you?
When all this I was going through
You never took the time
To ask me just what you could do
I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness that my life became cause
I never meant to fade (away)
I never meant to fade
4. Itīs Been A While
And itīs been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And itīs been awhile
Since I first saw you
And itīs been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And itīs been awhile
Since I could call you
And everything I can remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
And consequences that are rendered
I stretch myself beyond my means
And itīs been awhile
Since I can say that I wasnīt addicted
And itīs been awhile
Since I can say I love myself aswell
And itīs been awhile
Since Iīve gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And itīs been awhile
But all that shit seems to disappear when Iīm with you
Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day
And itīs been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And itīs been awhile
Since I said Iīm sorry
And itīs been awhile
Since Iīve seen the way the candles light your face
And itīs been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste
And itīs been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And itīs been awhile
Since I said Iīm sorry
5. Change
If ever you had said to me before that I would live this life
That I am living now I guess itīs all so strange
To feel the way I do inside
But have so much that I could feel some pride for in my life
So why is it that I feel like this
How do I feel? Iīve been here before, Iīve felt this
Retreat to a place, a place within me, I need this
Keep it all down, bottled inside, it breaks me
To torment again and torture me like it used to
I try and try to break away from all the hate Iīm feeling
For every one of you thatīs ever done me wrong
I need to justify the reasons for the way Iīm living
I guess I canīt cause I donīt feel like I deserve
So now the waves they have subsided and my soul is bleeding
I canīt take away all the shame I feel forgive me
6. Canīt Believe
espect
Respect what is found
Respect should be abound
Respect everything that you leave
I canīt believe
I canīt believe
And I, I canīt believe
I canīt believe all the travesty
Surrounding me, I want to flee
I want to flee from everything
In front of me here
Never again, trusted in you
Fuck everything that you think I should be
I stand, never again, never again
7. Epiphany
Your words to me just a whisper
Your faces so unclear
I try to pay attention
Your words just disappear
Cause itīs always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said
So I speak to you in riddles
Cause my words get in my way
I smoke the whole thing to my head
And feel it wash away
Cause I canīt take anymore of this
I want to come apart
Or dig myself a little hole
Inside your precious heart
I am nothing more than
A little boy inside
That cries out for attention
Yet I always try to hide
Cause I talk to you like children
Though I donīt know how I feel
But I know Iīll do the right thing
If the right thing is revealed
8. Suffer
The more you see the more you do
The televisionīs feeding you
With what you want to hear
Anger and fear
Because you suffer
The hate you feel wonīt go away
Youīre all programmed to feel this way
To live another day within a world
That loves to suffer
And then I come to find everythingīs OK
Seen this all before
But that was yesterday
I try to walk right through
The messes that Iīve made
Just let me enjoy
The life here that Iīve made
Iīve tried to give this all to you
Canīt take anymore to do
With this it hurts inside
I know why I hide
Cause I suffer
I tried to keep it all inside
Didnīt leave me too much pride
I forced it all down inside
Forced myself
To make me suffer
And then I come to find
9. Safe Place
Another day inside my world
Iīm married to you and this road
A road that never lets me sleep
Theres no way to escape the demons I am forced to keep
And then I find you here
Through your eyes
Everythingīs clear
And Iīm home
Inside your arms
But Iīm alone for now
I mean the best with what I say
It doesnīt always sound that way
I never learned to work things out
Cause in my family all we ever seem to do is shout
And I try to sleep
The drugs I take
Are killing me
I think of you
To ease my pain
But youīre so far
Now itīs time to say goodbye
I love you baby please donīt cry
10. For You
To my mother, to my father
Itīs your son or itīs your daughter
Are my screams loud enough for you to hear me?
Should I turn this up for you?
Cause I sit locked inside my head
Remembering everything youīve said
This silence gets us nowhwere
Gets us nowhere way too fast
The silence is what kills me
I need someone here to help me
But you donīt know how to listen
And let me make my decisions
All your insults and your curses
Make me feel like Iīm not a person
And I feel like
I am nothing
But you made me
So do something
Cause Iīm fucked up
Because you are
Need attention
Attention you couldnīt give
11. Outside
And you, bring me to my knees, again
All the times, that I could beg you please, in vain
All the times, that I felt insecure, for you
And I leave, my burdens at the door
But Iīm on the outside
And Iīm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
Cause inside your ugly
Your ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you
All the times that I felt like this wonīt end, itīs for you
And I taste what I could never have, it was from you
All the times that Iīve tried my intentions full of pride
But I waste more time than anyone
All the times, that Iīve cried
All this wasted, itīs all inside
And I feel, all this pain
Stuffed it down, itīs back again
And I lie, here in bed
All alone, I canīt mend
But I feel, tomorrow will be OK
12. Waste
Your mother came up to me
She wanted answers only she should know
Only she should know
It wasnīt easy to deal
With the tears that rolled down her face
I had no answers cause I didnīt even know you
But these words
They canīt replace
The life you...
The life you waste
How could you paint this picture?
With life as bad as it should seem
That there were no more options for you
I canīt explain how I feel
Iīve been there many times before
Iīve tasted the cold steel of my life crashing down before me
Did Daddy not love you?
Or did he love you just too much?
Did he control you?
Did he live through you at your cost?
Did he leave no questions for you to answer on your own?
Well fuck that!
And fuck her!
And fuck him!
And fuck you!
For not having the strength in your heart to pull through!
Iīve had doubts!
I have failed!
Iīve fucked up!
Iīve had plans!
Doesnīt mean I should take my life with my own hands!
13. Take It
I feel like this wonīt go away
No matter how hard I try to
Squeeze my eyes shut so i canīt see the pain
In you this pain in me
In me
Everything that I can say to you
Wonīt help you
Everything you need is right in front of you
Just take it
I know that Iīm really not here
To represent what Iīm not clear
About in my head sometimes
I feel fucked up just like you do
Like you do
Try to make it through the daily pain
That you feel
Maybe tomorrow wonīt be so bad
I know it
Cause I once felt that way
Nothing I could say
Made it go away
I lived through this
I still feel this
I just live for my tomorrow
Make it go away
Just make it go away
Sheīll make it go away
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